When Healing Feels Heavy: How to Keep Going When You're Tired of 'Doing the Work'
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Healing isn't always sunshine and breakthroughs. Sometimes it's messy, heavy, and exhausting — and that's okay. Here's how to stay grounded when the journey feels overwhelming. 🦋
When Healing Feels Heavy: How to Keep Going When You're Tired of 'Doing the Work'
I’m just going to say what nobody likes to admit:
Healing can feel freaking exhausting.
I don't care how many vision boards you’ve made, how many journals you've filled, how many mindset shifts you've celebrated —
There are still days you sit on your bed, stare at the wall, and wonder:
"Am I really getting anywhere?
Why does this still hurt?
Why do I feel so tired from something that’s supposed to be making me stronger?"
And when those days hit, it’s easy to question if healing is even worth it.
But listen to me closely:
You are not broken.
You are not failing.
You are not doing it wrong.
You are doing the hardest work there is:
Becoming yourself again.
Healing is not a straight line. It’s a Whole Damn Spiral (and That’s Okay)
Everyone wants to imagine that healing looks like a beautiful staircase — step by step, higher and higher, no setbacks, no dips.
But real healing?
It’s a messy, breathtaking, gut-wrenching spiral.
You will loop back.
You will revisit old wounds you thought you were done with.
You will get triggered by things you thought you had "outgrown."
But here's the truth:
Every time you circle back, you're not in the same place.
You're meeting that pain with new eyes, new tools, and new strength you didn’t have before.
That’s not failure — that’s growth.
What It Looks Like When Healing Gets Heavy
There was a season of my life where every single day felt like survival mode.
I'd wake up determined to “stay positive,” but by noon, I was wrestling with old doubts, triggers, and waves of exhaustion I couldn’t explain.
I remember sitting in my car one afternoon, tears streaming down my face for absolutely no reason.
I wasn’t in crisis.
Nothing bad had happened that day.
And yet, there I was — completely gutted.
And it hit me:
This is part of the healing.
This is the unwinding of everything I was never meant to carry.
Healing isn't always the light pouring in.
Sometimes, it's the grief of letting go.
Sometimes, the tears ARE the breakthrough.
Signs You’re Healing Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It:
You notice the patterns now — even if you haven’t fully changed them yet.
You pause before reacting — even if you still react sometimes.
You’re more self-aware — even if it feels overwhelming.
You can name your feelings — not just numb them.
You’re craving authenticity — not just surface approval.
Healing isn’t about becoming a “perfectly healed person.”
It’s about becoming someone who is aware, awake, and real with herself.
And you, my love, are doing it.
Things to Remember When Healing Feels Too Heavy:
1. Rest is part of the work.
If you need to lay down and cry today, it doesn’t mean you’re regressing.
It means your body, mind, and soul are processing deep stuff.
Rest isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom.
2. Progress isn’t always visible.
You don’t see seeds growing underground either — but one day, they break through the surface.
You are evolving even when it feels like nothing is happening.
3. You're allowed to be BOTH.
You can be grateful and exhausted.
You can be proud and overwhelmed.
You can love your life and still have hard days.
Duality is not failure — it’s realness.
4. It's okay to ask for help.
Healing doesn't mean doing it all alone.
Community matters. Safe spaces matter. (That’s why I created Soulful Shift Academy — because healing alone isn't it.)
5. You are not behind.
There is no timeline you’re supposed to be on.
Your journey is sacred.
Your timing is divine.
You cannot be late to your own becoming.
Gentle Practices for the Days Healing Feels Too Heavy:
1. Lower the bar.
Not every day needs to be a transformation marathon.
Some days, "I got out of bed and fed myself" is a freaking victory.
2. Let yourself feel — without fixing.
You don't have to coach yourself through every emotion.
Sometimes you just need to sit with it, breathe through it, and let it pass.
3. Connect to your body.
Stretch.
Dance.
Take a slow walk.
Get out of your mind and into the wisdom of your body.
4. Listen to your own soul first.
Not Instagram.
Not your best friend.
Not another self-help book.
Your own soul knows what you need — if you’re brave enough to listen.
If You’re Feeling Lost, Here’s Your Soul Check-In:
✨ Have I eaten today?
✨ Have I drank enough water?
✨ Have I spoken to myself with kindness today?
✨ Have I given myself permission to rest?
✨ Have I remembered how far I've come?
Start small. Always.
Sometimes healing isn’t about bulldozing through your to-do list.
Sometimes it’s about whispering to yourself, "Baby steps still count."
And believing it.
Real Talk: Healing Will Break Your Heart — and Put it Back Together Stronger
There will be days when you hate how slow this feels.
There will be nights when you wonder if you’re just broken beyond repair.
But here’s the truth nobody tells you:
The days you want to quit the most are the days you’re the closest to breaking through.
Keep walking.
Even if it’s messy.
Even if it’s slow.
Even if you have to crawl.
Keep moving toward yourself.
Because you are becoming the woman you were always meant to be — not despite the hard days, but because of them.
🦋 Things I Remind Myself When Healing Feels Impossible:
"It's okay to be tired. I am doing big soul work."
"I am allowed to rest without guilt."
"This version of me deserves love, not punishment."
"Even when I can't see it, healing is happening beneath the surface."
"Every tear shed is a seed planted for my future joy."
"The hard days don't erase the progress. They deepen it."
Healing is Brave, Exhausting, and Worth It
Nobody talks enough about the middle part of healing —
The part where you’re no longer who you were, but not yet who you’re becoming.
It’s uncomfortable.
It’s disorienting.
It’s sacred.
Because it’s in this messy, raw, not-sure-what-the-hell-I’m-doing place
that you are building the woman you are meant to rise into.
You’re not lost.
You’re not broken.
You’re not failing.
You’re becoming.
And becoming is not a clean, linear, Instagrammable process.
It’s a soul-stretching, gut-wrenching, beautiful unraveling — and you are doing it with more grace than you even realize.
🌸 If You’re Ready for Deeper Support:
You don’t have to figure this all out alone. Because you don’t have to walk this alone.
✨ Soulful Shift Academy — a safe space for women healing, rising, and creating new stories for their lives.
✨ Unapologetically Empowered Podcast — honest conversations about healing, self-discovery, and radical self-trust.
✨ Breaking Limiting Beliefs Bootcamp — a powerful step-by-step guide to help you shatter old patterns and step into your highest self.
Your healing deserves community.
Your rising deserves celebration.
Your journey deserves to be honored — not rushed.
You are so worthy of support. Always.
You Are Stronger Than This Season
I know the heaviness can make you doubt yourself.
I know the exhaustion can make you question if it’s even worth it.
It is. You are. This work matters.
You are building a foundation so strong that no storm can knock you down.
You are laying bricks made of grit, courage, compassion, and self-trust.
This season is not the end.
It’s the beginning of your next chapter.
Keep going, bestie.
Your rising is closer than you think. 🦋
Until Next Time,
Keep Being Amazing,
With love,
Erica Whalen
Life Coach
Founder of Mindful Empower
✨ Ready to keep rising with more support?
Explore Soulful Shift Academy, dive into the Breaking Limiting Beliefs Bootcamp, and tune into Unapologetically Empowered Podcast whenever you need a reminder that you’re not alone on this journey. 💖
We rise together.
Always.
